Chapter 3

From the moment he entered upon the execution of this purpose, dictated
as it probably was by an unaffected principle of duty, his misfortunes
took their commencement. All I have further to state of his history is
the uninterrupted persecution of a malignant destiny, a series of
adventures that seemed to take their rise in various accidents, but
pointing to one termination. Him they overwhelmed with an anguish he
was of all others least qualified to bear; and these waters of
bitterness, extending beyond him, poured their deadly venom upon others.
I being myself the most unfortunate of their victims.

The person in whom these calamities originated was Mr. Falkland's
nearest neighbour, a man of estate equal to his own, by name Barnabas
Tyrrel. This man one might at first have supposed of all others least
qualified from instruction, or inclined by the habits of his life, to
disturb the enjoyments of a mind so richly endowed as that of Mr.
Falkland. Mr. Tyrrel might have passed for a true model of the English
squire. He was early left under the tuition of his mother, a woman of
narrow capacity, and who had no other child. The only remaining member
of the family it may be necessary to notice was Miss Emily Melville, the
orphan daughter of Mr. Tyrrel's paternal aunt; who now resided in the
family mansion, and was wholly dependent on the benevolence of its
proprietors.

Mrs. Tyrrel appeared to think that there was nothing in the world so
precious as her hopeful Barnabas. Every thing must give way to his
accommodation and advantage; every one must yield the most servile
obedience to his commands. He must not be teased or restricted by any
forms of instruction; and of consequence his proficiency, even in the
arts of writing and reading, was extremely slender. From his birth he
was muscular and sturdy; and, confined to the _ruelle_ of his mother, he
made much such a figure as the whelp-lion that a barbarian might have
given for a lap-dog to his mistress.

But he soon broke loose from these trammels, and formed an acquaintance
with the groom and the game-keeper. Under their instruction he proved as
ready a scholar, as he had been indocile and restive to the pedant who
held the office of his tutor. It was now evident that his small
proficiency in literature was by no means to be ascribed to want of
capacity. He discovered no contemptible sagacity and quick-wittedness in
the science of horse-flesh, and was eminently expert in the arts of
shooting, fishing, and hunting. Nor did he confine himself to these, but
added the theory and practice of boxing, cudgel play, and quarter-staff.
These exercises added ten-fold robustness and vigour to his former
qualifications.

His stature, when grown, was somewhat more than five feet ten inches in
height, and his form might have been selected by a painter as a model
for that hero of antiquity, whose prowess consisted in felling an ox
with his fist, and devouring him at a meal. Conscious of his advantage
in this respect, he was insupportably arrogant, tyrannical to his
inferiors, and insolent to his equals. The activity of his mind being
diverted from the genuine field of utility and distinction, showed
itself in the rude tricks of an overgrown lubber. Here, as in all his
other qualifications, he rose above his competitors; and if it had been
possible to overlook the callous and unrelenting disposition which they
manifested, one could scarcely have denied his applause to the invention
these freaks displayed, and the rough, sarcastic wit with which they
were accompanied.

Mr. Tyrrel was by no means inclined to permit these extraordinary merits
to rust in oblivion. There was a weekly assembly at the nearest
market-town, the resort of all the rural gentry. Here he had hitherto
figured to the greatest advantage as grand master of the _coterie_, no
one having an equal share of opulence, and the majority, though still
pretending to the rank of gentry, greatly his inferior in this essential
article. The young men in this circle looked up to this insolent bashaw
with timid respect, conscious of the comparative eminence that
unquestionably belonged to the powers of his mind; and he well knew how
to maintain his rank with an inflexible hand. Frequently indeed he
relaxed his features, and assumed a temporary appearance of affableness
and familiarity; but they found by experience, that if any one,
encouraged by his condescension, forgot the deference which Mr. Tyrrel
considered as his due, he was soon taught to repent his presumption. It
was a tiger that thought proper to toy with a mouse, the little animal
every moment in danger of being crushed by the fangs of his ferocious
associate. As Mr. Tyrrel had considerable copiousness of speech, and a
rich, but undisciplined imagination, he was always sure of an audience.
His neighbours crowded round, and joined in the ready laugh, partly from
obsequiousness, and partly from unfeigned admiration. It frequently
happened, however; that, in the midst of his good humour, a
characteristic refinement of tyranny would suggest itself to his mind.
When his subjects, encouraged by his familiarity, had discarded their
precaution, the wayward fit would seize him, a sudden cloud overspread
his brow, his voice transform from the pleasant to the terrible, and a
quarrel of a straw immediately ensue with the first man whose face he
did not like. The pleasure that resulted to others from the exuberant
sallies of his imagination was, therefore, not unalloyed with sudden
qualms of apprehension and terror. It may be believed that this
despotism did not gain its final ascendancy without being contested in
the outset. But all opposition was quelled with a high hand by this
rural Antaeus. By the ascendancy of his fortune, and his character among
his neighbours, he always reduced his adversary to the necessity of
encountering him at his own weapons, and did not dismiss him without
making him feel his presumption through every joint in his frame. The
tyranny of Mr. Tyrrel would not have been so patiently endured, had not
his colloquial accomplishments perpetually come in aid of that authority
which his rank and prowess originally obtained.

The situation of our squire with the fair was still more enviable than
that which he maintained among persons of his own sex. Every mother
taught her daughter to consider the hand of Mr. Tyrrel as the highest
object of her ambition. Every daughter regarded his athletic form and
his acknowledged prowess with a favourable eye. A form eminently
athletic is, perhaps, always well proportioned; and one of the
qualifications that women are early taught to look for in the male sex,
is that of a protector. As no man was adventurous enough to contest his
superiority, so scarcely any woman in this provincial circle would have
scrupled to prefer his addresses to those of any other admirer. His
boisterous wit had peculiar charms for them; and there was no spectacle
more flattering to their vanity, than seeing this Hercules exchange his
club for a distaff. It was pleasing to them to consider, that the fangs
of this wild beast, the very idea of which inspired trepidation into the
boldest hearts, might be played with by them with the utmost security.

Such was the rival that Fortune, in her caprice, had reserved for the
accomplished Falkland. This untamed, though not undiscerning brute, was
found capable of destroying the prospects of a man the most eminently
qualified to enjoy and to communicate happiness. The feud that sprung up
between them was nourished by concurring circumstances, till it attained
a magnitude difficult to be paralleled; and, because they regarded each
other with a deadly hatred, I have become an object of misery and
abhorrence.

The arrival of Mr. Falkland gave an alarming shock to the authority of
Mr. Tyrrel in the village assembly and in all scenes of indiscriminate
resort. His disposition by no means inclined him to withhold himself
from scenes of fashionable amusement; and he and his competitor were
like two stars fated never to appear at once above the horizon. The
advantages Mr. Falkland possessed in the comparison are palpable; and
had it been otherwise, the subjects of his rural neighbour were
sufficiently disposed to revolt against his merciless dominion. They had
hitherto submitted from fear, and not from love; and, if they had not
rebelled, it was only for want of a leader. Even the ladies regarded Mr.
Falkland with particular complacence. His polished manners were
peculiarly in harmony with feminine delicacy. The sallies of his wit
were far beyond those of Mr. Tyrrel in variety and vigour; in addition
to which they had the advantage of having their spontaneous exuberance
guided and restrained by the sagacity of a cultivated mind. The graces
of his person were enhanced by the elegance of his deportment; and the
benevolence and liberality of his temper were upon all occasions
conspicuous. It was common indeed to Mr. Tyrrel, together with Mr.
Falkland, to be little accessible to sentiments of awkwardness and
confusion. But for this Mr. Tyrrel was indebted to a self-satisfied
effrontery, and a boisterous and over-bearing elocution, by which he was
accustomed to discomfit his assailants; while Mr. Falkland, with great
ingenuity and candour of mind, was enabled by his extensive knowledge of
the world, and acquaintance with his own resources, to perceive almost
instantaneously the proceeding it most became him to adopt.

Mr. Tyrrel contemplated the progress of his rival with uneasiness and
aversion. He often commented upon it to his particular confidents as a
thing altogether inconceivable. Mr. Falkland he described as an animal
that was beneath contempt. Diminutive and dwarfish in his form, he
wanted to set up a new standard of human nature, adapted to his
miserable condition. He wished to persuade people that the human species
were made to be nailed to a chair, and to pore over books. He would have
them exchange those robust exercises which make us joyous in the
performance, and vigorous in the consequences, for the wise labour of
scratching our heads for a rhyme and counting our fingers for a verse.
Monkeys were as good men as these. A nation of such animals would have
no chance with a single regiment of the old English votaries of beef and
pudding. He never saw any thing come of learning but to make people
foppish and impertinent; and a sensible man would not wish a worse
calamity to the enemies of his nation, than to see them run mad after
such pernicious absurdities. It was impossible that people could
seriously feel any liking for such a ridiculous piece of goods as this
outlandish foreign-made Englishman. But he knew very well how it was: it
was a miserable piece of mummery that was played only in spite of him.
But God for ever blast his soul, if he were not bitterly revenged upon
them all!

If such were the sentiments of Mr. Tyrrel, his patience found ample
exercise in the language which was held by the rest of his neighbours on
the same subject. While he saw nothing in Mr. Falkland but matter of
contempt, they appeared to be never weary of recounting his praises.
Such dignity, such affability, so perpetual an attention to the
happiness of others, such delicacy of sentiment and expression! Learned
without ostentation, refined without foppery, elegant without
effeminacy! Perpetually anxious to prevent his superiority from being
painfully felt, it was so much the more certainly felt to be real, and
excited congratulation instead of envy in the spectator. It is scarcely
necessary to remark, that the revolution of sentiment in this rural
vicinity belongs to one of the most obvious features of the human mind.
The rudest exhibition of art is at first admired, till a nobler is
presented, and we are taught to wonder at the facility with which before
we had been satisfied. Mr. Tyrrel thought there would be no end to the
commendation; and expected when their common acquaintance would fall
down and adore the intruder. The most inadvertent expression of applause
inflicted upon him the torment of demons. He writhed with agony, his
features became distorted, and his looks inspired terror. Such suffering
would probably have soured the kindest temper; what must have been its
effect upon Mr. Tyrrel's, always fierce, unrelenting, and abrupt?

The advantages of Mr. Falkland seemed by no means to diminish with their
novelty. Every new sufferer from Mr. Tyrrel's tyranny immediately went
over to the standard of his adversary. The ladies, though treated by
their rustic swain with more gentleness than the men, were occasionally
exposed to his capriciousness and insolence. They could not help
remarking the contrast between these two leaders in the fields of
chivalry, the one of whom paid no attention to any one's pleasure but
his own, while the other seemed all good-humour and benevolence. It was
in vain that Mr. Tyrrel endeavoured to restrain the ruggedness of his
character. His motive was impatience, his thoughts were gloomy, and his
courtship was like the pawings of an elephant. It appeared as if his
temper had been more human while he indulged in its free bent, than now
that he sullenly endeavoured to put fetters upon its excesses.

Among the ladies of the village-assembly already mentioned, there was
none that seemed to engage more of the kindness of Mr. Tyrrel than Miss
Hardingham. She was also one of the few that had not yet gone over to
the enemy, either because she really preferred the gentleman who was her
oldest acquaintance, or that she conceived from calculation this conduct
best adapted to insure her success in a husband. One day, however, she
thought proper, probably only by way of experiment, to show Mr. Tyrrel
that she could engage in hostilities, if he should at any time give her
sufficient provocation. She so adjusted her manoeuvres as to be engaged
by Mr. Falkland as his partner for the dance of the evening, though
without the smallest intention on the part of that gentleman (who was
unpardonably deficient in the sciences of anecdote and match-making) of
giving offence to his country neighbour. Though the manners of Mr.
Falkland were condescending and attentive, his hours of retirement were
principally occupied in contemplations too dignified for scandal, and
too large for the altercations of a vestry, or the politics of an
election-borough.

A short time before the dances began, Mr. Tyrrel went up to his fair
inamorata, and entered into some trifling conversation with her to fill
up the time, as intending in a few minutes to lead her forward to the
field. He had accustomed himself to neglect the ceremony of soliciting
beforehand a promise in his favour, as not supposing it possible that
any one would dare dispute his behests; and, had it been otherwise, he
would have thought the formality unnecessary in this case, his general
preference to Miss Hardingham being notorious.

While he was thus engaged, Mr. Falkland came up. Mr. Tyrrel always
regarded him with aversion and loathing. Mr. Falkland, however, slided
in a graceful and unaffected manner into the conversation already begun;
and the animated ingenuousness of his manner was such, as might for the
time have disarmed the devil of his malice. Mr. Tyrrel probably
conceived that his accosting Miss Hardingham was an accidental piece of
general ceremony, and expected every moment when he would withdraw to
another part of the room.

The company now began to be in motion for the dance, and Mr. Falkland
signified as much to Miss Hardingham. "Sir," interrupted Mr. Tyrrel
abruptly, "that lady is my partner."--"I believe not, sir: that lady has
been so obliging as to accept my invitation."--"I tell you, sir, no.
Sir, I have an interest in that lady's affections; and I will suffer no
man to intrude upon my claims."--"The lady's affections are not the
subject of the present question."--"Sir, it is to no purpose to parley.
Make room, sir!"--Mr. Falkland gently repelled his antagonist. "Mr.
Tyrrel!" returned he, with some firmness, "let us have no altercation in
this business: the master of the ceremonies is the proper person to
decide in a difference of this sort, if we cannot adjust it: we can
neither of us intend to exhibit our valour before the ladies, and shall
therefore cheerfully submit to his verdict."--"Damn me, sir, if I
understand--" "Softly, Mr. Tyrrel; I intended you no offence. But, sir,
no man shall prevent my asserting that to which I have once acquired a
claim!"

Mr. Falkland uttered these words with the most unruffled temper in the
world. The tone in which he spoke had acquired elevation, but neither
roughness nor impatience. There was a fascination in his manner that
made the ferociousness of his antagonist subside into impotence. Miss
Hardingham had begun to repent of her experiment, but her alarm was
speedily quieted by the dignified composure of her new partner. Mr.
Tyrrel walked away without answering a word. He muttered curses as he
went, which the laws of honour did not oblige Mr. Falkland to overhear,
and which indeed it would have been no easy task to have overheard with
accuracy. Mr. Tyrrel would not, perhaps, have so easily given up his
point, had not his own good sense presently taught him, that, however
eager he might be for revenge, this was not the ground he should desire
to occupy. But, though he could not openly resent this rebellion against
his authority, he brooded over it in the recesses of a malignant mind;
and it was evident enough that he was accumulating materials for a
bitter account, to which he trusted his adversary should one day be
brought.