ACT I

_The hall of EARTH-SPIRIT_, Act IV, _feebly lighted by an oil lamp on
the centre table. Even this is dimmed by a heavy shade. Lulu's
picture is gone from the easel, which still stands by the foot of the
stairs. The fire-screen and the chair by the ottoman are gone too.

Down left is a small tea-table, with a coffee-pot and a cup of black
coffee on it, and an arm-chair next it._

_In this chair, deep in cushions, with a plaid shawl over her knees,
sits Countess Geschwitz in a tight black dress. Rodrigo, clad as a
servant, sits on the ottoman. At the rear, Alva Schoen is walking up
and down before the entrance door._

RODRIGO. He lets people wait for him as if he were a concert
conductor!

GESCHWITZ. I beg of you, don't speak!

RODRIGO. Hold my tongue, with a head as full of thoughts as mine
is!--I absolutely can't believe she's changed so awfully much to her
advantage there!

GESCHWITZ. She is more glorious to look at than I have ever seen her!

RODRIGO. God preserve me from founding my life-happiness on your
taste and judgment! If the sickness has hit her as it has you, I'm
smashed and thru! You're leaving the contagious ward like an
acrobat-lady who's had an accident after giving herself up to art.

You can scarcely blow your nose any more. First you need a
quarter-hour to sort your fingers, and then you have to be mighty
careful not to break off the tip.

GESCHWITZ. What puts *us* under the ground gives *her* health and
strength again.

RODRIGO. That's all right and fine enough. But I don't think I'll be
travelling off with her this evening.

GESCHWITZ. You will let your bride journey all alone, after all?

RODRIGO. In the first place, the old fellow's going with her to
protect her in case anything serious--. My escort could only be
suspicious. And secondly, I must wait here till my costumes are
ready. I'll get across the frontier soon enough alright,--and I hope
in the meantime she'll put on a little embonpoint, too. Then we'll
get married, provided I can present her before a respectable public.

I love the practical in a woman: what theories they make up for
themselves are all the same to me. Aren't they to you too, doctor?

ALVA. I haven't heard what you were saying.

RODRIGO. I'd never have got my person mixed up in this plot if she
hadn't kept tickling my bare pate, before her sentence. If only she
doesn't start doing too much as soon as she's out of Germany! I'd
like best to take her to London for six months, and let her fill up
on plum-cakes. In London one expands just from the sea air. And then,
too, in London one doesn't feel with every swallow of beer as if the
hand of fate were at one's throat.

ALVA. I've been asking myself for a week whether a person who'd been
sentenced to prison could still be made to go as the chief figure in
a modern drama.

GESCHWITZ. If the man would only come, now!

RODRIGO. I've still got to redeem my properties out of the pawn-shop
here, too. Six hundred kilos of the best iron. The baggage-rate on
'em is always three times as much as my own ticket, so that the whole
junket isn't worth a trowser's button. When I went into the pawn-shop
with 'em, dripping with sweat, they asked me if the things were
genuine!--I'd have really done better to have had the costumes made
abroad. In Paris, for instance, they see at the first glance where
one's best points are, and bravely lay them bare. But you can't learn
that with bow-legs; it's got to be studied on classically shaped
people. In this country they're as scared of naked skin as they are
abroad of dynamite bombs. A couple of years ago I was fined fifty
marks at the Alhambra Theater, because people could see I had a few
hairs on my chest, not enough to make a respectable tooth-brush! But
the Fine Arts Minister opined that the little school-girls might lose
their joy in knitting stockings because of it; and since then I have
myself shaved once a month.

ALVA. If I didn't need every bit of my creative power now for the
"World-conqueror," I might like to test the problem and see what
could be done with it. That's the curse of our young literature:
we're so much too literary. We know only such questions and problems
as come up among writers and cultured people. We cannot see beyond
the limits of our own professional interests. In order to get back on
the trail of a great and powerful art we must move as much as
possible among men who've never read a book in their lives, whom the
simplest animal instincts direct in all they do. I've tried already,
with all my might, to work according to those principles--in my
"Earth-spirit." The woman who was my model for the chief figure in
that, breathes to-day--and has for a year--behind barred windows; and
on that account for some incomprehensible reason the play was only
brought to performance by the Society for Free Literature. As long as
my father was alive, all the stages of Germany stood open to my
creations. That has been vastly changed.

RODRIGO. I've had a pair of tights made of the tenderest blue-green.

If *they* don't make a success abroad, I'll sell mouse-traps! The
trunks are so delicate I can't sit on the edge of a table in 'em. The
only thing that will disturb the good impression is my awful bald
head, which I owe to my active participation in this great
conspiracy. To lie in the hospital in perfect health for three months
would make a fat pig of the most run-down old hobo. Since coming out
I've fed on nothing but Karlsbad pills. Day and night I have
orchestra rehearsals in my intestines. I'll be so washed out before I
get across the frontier that I won't be able to lift a bottle-cork.

GESCHWITZ. How the attendants in the hospital got out of her way
yesterday! That was a refreshing sight. The garden was still as the
grave: in the loveliest noon sunlight the convalescents didn't
venture out of doors. Away back by the contagious ward she stepped
out under the mulberry trees and swayed on her ankles on the gravel.

The door-keeper had recognized me, and a young doctor who met me in
the corridor shrunk up as tho a revolver shot had struck him. The
Sisters vanished into the big rooms or stayed stuck against the
walls. When I came back there was not a soul to be seen in the garden
or at the gate. No better chance could have been found, if we had had
the cursed passports. And now the fellow says he isn't going with
her!

RODRIGO. I understand the poor hospital-brothers. One has a bad foot
and another has a swollen cheek, and there appears in the midst of
them the incarnate death-insurance-agentess! In the Hall of the
Knights, as the blessed division was called from which I organized my
spying, when the news got around there that Sister Theophila had
departed this life, not one of the fellows could be kept in bed. They
scrambled up to the window-bars, if they had to drag their pains
along with them by the hundred-weight. I never heard such swearing in
my life!

ALVA. Allow me, Fraulein von Geschwitz, to come back to my
proposition once more. Tho my father was shot in this room, still I
can see in the murder, as in the punishment, nothing but a horrible
misfortune that has befallen *her*; nor do I think that my father, if
he had come through alive, would have withdrawn his support from her
entirely. Whether your plan for freeing her will succeed still seems
to me very doubtful, tho I wouldn't like to discourage you; but I can
find no words to express the admiration with which your
self-sacrifice, your energy, your superhuman scorn of death, inspires
me. I don't believe any man ever risked so much for a woman, let
alone for a friend. I am not aware, Fraulein von Geschwitz, how rich
you are, but the expenses for what you have accomplished must have
exhausted your fortune. May I venture to offer you a loan of 20,000
marks--which I should have no trouble raising for you in cash?

GESCHWITZ. How we did rejoice when Sister Theophila was really dead!

From that day on we were free from custody. We changed our beds as we
liked. I had done my hair like hers, and copied every tone of her
voice. When the professor came he called *her* "gnaediges Fraulein"
and said to me, "It's better living here than in prison!"... When the
Sister suddenly was missing, we looked at each other in suspense: we
had both been sick five days: now was the deciding moment. Next
morning came the assistant.--"How is Sister Theophila?"--"Dead!"--We
communicated behind his back, and when he had gone we sank in each
other's arms: "God be thanked! God be thanked!"--What pains it cost
me to keep my darling from betraying how well she already was! "You
have nine years of prison before you," I cried to her early and late.

Now they probably won't let her stay in the contagious ward three
days more!

RODRIGO. I lay in the hospital full three months to spy out the
ground, after toilfully peddling together the qualities necessary for
such a long stay. Now I act the valet here with you, Dr. Schoen, so
that no strange servants may come into the house. Where is the
bridegroom who's ever done so much for his bride? *My* fortune has
also been destroyed.

ALVA. When you succeed in developing her into a respectable artiste
you will have put the world in debt to you. With the temperament and
the beauty that she has to give out of the depths of her nature she
can make the most blase public hold its breath. And then, too, she
will be protected by *acting* passion from a second time becoming a
criminal in reality.

RODRIGO. I'll soon drive her kiddishness out of her!

GESCHWITZ. There he comes! (_Steps louden in the gallery. Then the
curtains part at the head of the stairs and Schigolch in a long black
coat with a white sun-shade in his right hand comes down. Thruout the
play his speech is interrupted with frequent yawns._)

SCHIGOLCH. Confound the darkness! Out-doors the sun burns your eyes
out.

GESCHWITZ. (_Wearily unwrapping herself._) I'm coming!

RODRIGO. Her ladyship has seen no daylight for three days. We live
here like in a snuff-box.

SCHIGOLCH. Since nine o'clock this morning I've been round to all the
old-clothes-men. Three brand new trunks stuffed full of old trowsers
I've expressed to Buenos Ayres via Bremerhaven. My legs are dangling
on me like the tongue of a bell. That's the new life it's going to be
from now on!

RODRIGO. Where are you going to get off to-morrow morning?

SCHIGOLCH. I hope not straight into Ox-butter Hotel again!

RODRIGO. I can tell you a fine hotel. I lived there with a lady
lion-tamer. The people were born in Berlin.

GESCHWITZ. (_Upright in the arm-chair._) Come and help me!

RODRIGO. (_Hurries to her and supports her._) And you'll be safer
from the police there than on a high tightrope!

GESCHWITZ. He means to let you go with her alone this afternoon.

SCHIGOLCH. Maybe he's still suffering from his chillblains!

RODRIGO. Do you want me to start my new engagement in bath-robe and
slippers?

SCHIGOLCH. Hm--Sister Theophila wouldn't have gone to heaven so
promptly either, if she hadn't felt so affectionate towards our
patient.

RODRIGO.. She'll have a different value when one must serve thru a
honeymoon with her. Anyway, it can't hurt her if she gets a little
fresh air beforehand.

ALVA. (_A pocketbook in his hand, to Geschwitz who is leaning on a
chair-back by the centre table._) This holds 10,000 marks.

GESCHWITZ. Thank you, no.

ALVA. Please take it.

GESCHWITZ. (_To Schigolch._) Come along, at last!

SCHIGOLCH. Patience, Fraulein. It's only a stone's throw across
Hospital Street. I'll be here with her in five minutes.

ALVA. You're bringing her here?

SCHIGOLCH. I'm bringing her here. Or do you fear for your health?

ALVA. You see that I fear nothing.

RODRIGO. According to the latest wire, the doctor is on his way to
Constantinople to have his "Earth-spirit" produced before the Sultan
by harem-ladies and eunuchs.

ALVA. (_Opening the centre door under the gallery._) It's shorter for
you thru here. (_Exeunt Schigolch and Countess Geschwitz. Alva locks
the door._)

RODRIGO. You were going to give more money to the crazy sky-rocket!

ALVA. What has that to do with you?

RODRIGO. I get paid like a lamp-lighter, tho I had to demoralize all
the Sisters in the hospital. Then came the assistants' and the
doctors' turn, and then--

ALVA. Will you seriously inform me that the medical professors let
themselves be influenced by you?

RODRIGO. With the money those gentlemen cost me I could become
President of the United States!

ALVA. But Fraulein von Geschwitz has reimbursed you for every penny
that you spent. So far as I know you're getting a monthly salary of
five hundred marks from her besides. It is often pretty hard to
believe in your love for the unhappy murderess. When I asked Fraulein
von Geschwitz just now to accept my help, it certainly was not to
incite your insatiable avarice. The admiration which I have learnt to
have for Fraulein von Geschwitz in this affair, I am far from feeling
towards you. It is not at all clear to me what claims of any kind you
can make upon me. That you chanced to be present at the murder of my
father has not yet created the slightest bond of relationship between
you and me. On the contrary, I am firmly convinced that if the heroic
undertaking of Countess Geschwitz had not come your way you would be
lying somewhere to-day without a penny, drunken in the gutter.

RODRIGO. And do you know what would have become of you if you hadn't
sold for two millions the tuppeny paper your father ran? You'd have
hitched up with the stringiest sort of ballet-girl and been to-day a
stable-boy in the Humpelmeier Circus. What work do you do? You've
written a drama of horrors in which my bride's calves are the two
chief figures and which no high-class theater will produce. You
walking pajamas! You fresh rag-bag you! Two years ago I balanced two
saddled cavalry-horses on this chest. How that'll go now, after this
(_clasping his bald head_), is a question sure enough. The foreign
girls will get a fine idea of German art when they see the sweat come
beading thru my tights at every fresh kilo-weight! I shall make the
whole auditorium stink with my exhalations!

ALVA. You're weak as a dish-clout!

RODRIGO. Would to God you were right! or did you perhaps intend to
insult me? If so, I'll set the tip of my toe to your jaw so that your
tongue'll crawl along the carpet over there!

ALVA. Try it! (_Steps and voices outside._) Who is that...?

RODRIGO. You can thank God that I have no public here before me!

ALVA. Who can that be!

RODRIGO. That is my beloved. It's a full year now since we've seen
each other.

ALVA. But how should they be back already! Who can be coming there? I
expect no one.

RODRIGO. Oh the devil, unlock it!

ALVA. Hide yourself!

RODRIGO. I'll get behind the portieres. I've stood there once before,
a year ago. (_Disappears, right. Alva opens the rear door, whereupon
Alfred Hugenberg enters, hat in hand._)

ALVA. With whom have I--.... You? Aren't you--?

HUGENBERG. Alfred Hugenberg.

ALVA. What can I do for you?

HUGENBERG. I've come from Muensterburg. I ran away this morning.

ALVA. My eyes are bad. I am forced to keep the blinds closed.

HUGENBERG. I need your help. You will not refuse me. I've got a plan
ready. Can anyone hear us?

ALVA. What do you mean? What sort of a plan?

HUGENBERG. Are you alone?

ALVA. Yes. What do you want to impart to me?

HUGENBERG. I've had two plans already that I let drop. What I shall
tell you now has been worked out to the last possible chance. If I
had money I should not confide it to you; I thought about that a long
time before coming.... Will you not permit me to set forth to you my
design?

ALVA. Will you kindly tell me just what you are talking about?

HUGENBERG. She cannot possibly be so indifferent to you that I must
tell you that. The evidence *you* gave the coroner helped her more
than everything the defending counsel said.

ALVA. I beg to decline the supposition.

HUGENBERG. You would say that; I understand that, of course. But all
the same you were her best witness.

ALVA. *You* were! You said my father was about to force her to shoot
herself.

HUGENBERG. He was, too. But they didn't believe me. I wasn't put on
my oath.

ALVA. Where have you come from now?

HUGENBERG. From a reform-school I broke out of this morning.

ALVA. And what do you have in view?

HUGENBERG. I'm trying to get into the confidence of a turnkey.

ALVA. What do you mean to live on?

HUGENBERG. I'm living with a girl who's had a child by my father.

ALVA. Who is your father?

HUGENBERG. He's a police captain. I know the prison without ever
having been inside it; and nobody in it will recognize me as I am
now. But I don't count on that at all. I know an iron ladder by which
one can get from the first court to the roof and thru an opening
there into the attic. There's no way up to it from inside. But in all
five wings boards and laths and great heaps of shavings are lying
under the roofs, and I'll drag them all together in the middle and
set fire to them. My pockets are full of matches and all the things
used to make fires.

ALVA. But then you'll burn up there!

HUGENBERG. Of course, if I'm not rescued. But to get into the first
court I must have the turnkey in my power, and for that I need money.

Not that I mean to bribe him; that wouldn't go. I must lend him money
to send his three children to the country, and then at four o'clock
in the morning when the prisoners of respected families are
discharged, I'll slip in the door. He'll lock-up behind me and ask me
what I'm after, and I'll ask him to let me out again in the evening.

And before it gets light, I'm up in the attic.

ALVA. How did you escape from the reform-school?

HUGENBERG. Jumped out the window. I need two hundred marks for the
rascal to send his family to the country.

RODRIGO. (_Stepping out of the portieres, right._) Will the Herr
Baron have coffee in the music-room or on the veranda?

HUGENBERG. Where does that man come from? Out of the same door! He
jumped out of the same door!

ALVA. I've taken him into my service. He is dependable.

HUGENBERG. (_Grasping his temples._) Fool that I am! Oh, fool!

RODRIGO. Oh, yah, we've seen each other here before! Cut away now to
your vice-mamma. Your kid brother might like to uncle his brothers
and sisters. Make your sir-papa the grandfather of his children!

You're the only thing we've missed. If you once get into my sight in
the next two weeks, I'll beat your bean up for porridge.

ALVA. Be quiet, you!

HUGENBERG. I'm a fool!

RODRIGO. What do you want to do with your fire? Don't you know the
lady's been dead three weeks?

HUGENBERG. Did they cut off her head?

RODRIGO. No, she's got that still. She was mashed by the cholera.

HUGENBERG. That is not true!

RODRIGO. What do you know about it! There, read it: here! (_Taking
out a paper and pointing to the place._) "The murderess of Dr.

Schoen...." (_Gives Hugenberg the paper. He reads:_)

HUGENBERG. "The murderess of Dr. Schoen has in some incomprehensible
way fallen ill of the cholera in prison." It doesn't say that she's
dead.

RODRIGO. Well, what else do you suppose she is? She's been lying in
the churchyard three weeks. Back in the left-hand corner behind the
rubbish-heap where the little crosses are with no names on them,
there she lies under the first one. You'll know the spot because the
grass hasn't grown on it. Hang a tin wreath there, and then get back
to your nursery-school or I'll denounce you to the police. I know the
female that beguiles her leisure hours with you!

HUGENBERG. (_To Alva._) Is it true that she's dead?

ALVA. Thank God, yes!--Please, do not keep me here any longer. My
doctor has forbidden me to receive visitors.

HUGENBERG. My future is worth so little now! I would gladly have
given the last scrap of what life is worth to me for her happiness.

Heigh-ho! One way or another I'll sure go to the devil now!

RODRIGO. If you dare in any way to approach me or the doctor here or
my honorable friend Schigolch too near, I'll inform on you for
intended arson. You need three good years, to learn where not to
stick your fingers in! Now get out!

HUGENBERG. Fool!

RODRIGO. Get out!! (_Throws him out the door. Coming down._) I wonder
you didn't put your purse at that rogue's disposal, too!

ALVA. I won't stand your damned jabbering! The boy's little finger is
worth more than all you!

RODRIGO. I've had enough of this Geschwitz's company! If my bride is
to become a corporation with limited liability, somebody else can go
in ahead of me. I propose to make a magnificent trapeze-artist out of
her, and willingly risk my life to do it. But then I'll be master of
the house, and will myself indicate what cavaliers she is to receive!

ALVA. The boy has what our age lacks: a hero-nature; therefore, of
course, he is going to ruin. Do you remember how before sentence was
passed he jumped out of the witness-box and yelled at the justice:
"How do you know what would have become of you if you'd had to run
around the cafes barefoot every night when you were ten years old?!"

RODRIGO. If I could only have given him one in the jaw for that right
away! Thank God, there are jails where scum like that gets some
respect for the law pounded into them.

ALVA. One like him might have been my model for my "World-conqueror."
For twenty years literature has presented nothing but demi-men: men
who can beget no children and women who can bear none. That's called
"The Modern Problem."

RODRIGO. I've ordered a hippopotamus-whip two inches thick. If that
has no success with her, you can fill my cranium with potato-soup. Be
it love or be it whipping, female flesh never inquires. Only give it
some amusement, and it stays firm and fresh. She is now in her
twentieth year, has been married three times and has satisfied a
gigantic horde of lovers, and her heart's desires are at last pretty
plain. But the man's got to have the seven deadly sins on his
forehead, or she honors him not. If he looks as if a dog-catcher had
spat him out on the street, then, with such women-folks, he needn't
be afraid of a prince! I'll rent a garage fifty feet high and break
her in there; and when she's learnt the first diving-leap without
breaking her neck I'll pull on a black coat and not stir a finger the
rest of my life. When she's educated practically it doesn't cost a
woman half as much trouble to support her husband as the other way
round, if only the man takes care of the mental labor for her, and
doesn't let the sense of the family go to wreck.

ALVA. I have learnt to rule humanity and drive it in harness before
me like a well-broken four-in-hand,--but that boy sticks in my head.

Really, I can still take private lessons in the scorn of the world
from that school-boy!

RODRIGO. She'll just comfortably let her hide be papered with
thousand-mark bills! I'll extract salaries out of the directors with
a centrifugal pump. I know their kind. When they don't need a man,
let him shine their shoes for them; but when they must have an
artiste they cut her down from the very gallows with their own hands
and with the most entangling compliments.

ALVA. In my situation there's nothing more in the world to fear--but
death. In the realm of sensation I am the poorest beggar. But I can
no longer scrape up the moral courage to exchange my established
position for the excitements of the wild, adventurous life!

RODRIGO. She had sent Papa Schigolch and me together in chase of some
strong antidote for sleeplessness. We each got a twenty-mark piece
for expenses. There we see the youngster sitting in the Night-light
Cafe. He was sitting like a criminal on the prisoner's bench.

Schigolch sniffed at him from all sides, and remarked, "He is still
virgin." (_Up in the gallery, dragging steps are heard._) There she
is! The future magnificent trapeze-artiste of the present age!

(_The curtains part at the stair-head, and Lulu, supported by
Schigolch, and in a black dress, slowly and wearily descends._)

SCHIGOLCH. Hui, old mold! We've still to get over the frontier
to-day.

RODRIGO. (_Glaring stupidly at Lulu._) Thunder of heaven! Death!

LULU. (_Speaks, to the end of the act, in the gayest tones._) Slowly!

You're pinching my arm!

RODRIGO. How did you ever get the shamelessness to break out of
prison with such a wolf's face?!

SCHIGOLCH. Stop your snout!

RODRIGO. I'll run for the police! I'll give information! This
scarecrow let herself be seen in tights?! The padding alone would
cost two months' salary!--You're the most perfidious swindler that
ever had lodging in Ox-butter Hotel!

ALVA. Kindly refrain from insulting the lady!

RODRIGO. Insulting you call that?! For this gnawed bone's sake I've
worn myself away! I can't earn my own living! I'll be a clown if I
can still stand firm under a broom-stick! But let the lightning
strike me on the spot if I don't worm ten thousand marks a year for
life out of your tricks and frauds! I can tell you that! A pleasant
trip! I'm going for the police! (_Exit._)

SCHIGOLCH. Run, run!

LULU. He'll take good care of himself!

SCHIGOLCH. We're rid of *him*!--And now some black coffee for the
lady!

ALVA. (_At the table left._) Here is coffee, ready to pour.

SCHIGOLCH. I must look after the sleeping-car tickets.

LULU. (_Brightly._) Oh, freedom! Thank God for freedom!

SCHIGOLCH. I'll be back for you in half an hour. We'll celebrate our
departure in the station-restaurant. I'll order a supper that'll keep
us going till to-morrow.--Good morning, doctor.

ALVA. Good evening.

SCHIGOLCH. Pleasant rest!--Thanks, I know every door-handle here. So
long! Have a good time! (_Exit._)

LULU. I haven't seen a room for a year and a half. Curtains, chairs,
pictures....

ALVA. Won't you drink it?

LULU. I've swallowed enough black coffee these five days. Have you
any brandy?

ALVA. I've got some elixir de Spaa.

LULU. That reminds one of old times. (_Looks round the hall while
Alva fills two glasses._) Where's my picture gone?

ALVA. I've got it in my room, so no one shall see it here.

LULU. Bring it down here now.

ALVA. Didn't you even lose your vanity in prison?

LULU. How anxious at heart one gets when one hasn't seen herself for
months! One day I got a brand-new dust-pan. When I swept up at seven
in the morning I held the back of it up before my face. Tin doesn't
flatter, but I took pleasure in it all the same.--Bring the picture
down from your room. Shall I come too?

ALVA. No, Heaven's sake! You must spare yourself!

LULU. I've been sparing myself long enough now! (_Alva goes out,
right, to get the picture._) He has heart-trouble; but to have to
plague one's self with imagination fourteen months!... He kisses with
the fear of death on him, and his two knees shake like a frozen
vagabond's. In God's name.... In this room--if only I had not shot
his father in the back!

ALVA. (_Returns with the picture of Lulu in the Pierrot-dress._) It's
covered with dust. I had leant it against the fire-place, face to the
wall.

LULU. You didn't look at it all the time I was away?

ALVA. I had so much business to attend to, with the sale of our paper
and everything. Countess Geschwitz would have liked to have hung it
up in her house, but she had to be prepared for search-warrants. (_He
puts the picture on the easel._)

LULU. (_Merrily._) Now the poor monster is learning the joys of life
in Hotel Ox-butter by her own experience.

ALVA. Even now I don't understand how events hang together.

LULU. Oh, Geschwitz arranged it all very cleverly. I must admire her
inventiveness. But the cholera must have raged fearfully in Hamburg
this summer; and on that she founded her plan for freeing me. She
took a course in hospital nursing here, and when she had the
necessary documents she journeyed to Hamburg with them and nursed the
cholera patients. At the first opportunity that offered she put on
the underclothes in which a sick woman had just died and which really
ought to have been burnt. The same morning she traveled back here and
came to see me in prison. In my cell, while the wardress was outside,
we, as quick as we could, exchanged underclothes.

ALVA. So that was the reason why the Countess and you fell sick of
the cholera the same day!

LULU. Exactly, that was it! Geschwitz of course was instantly brought
from her house to the contagious ward in the hospital. But with me,
too, they couldn't think of any other place to take me. So there we
lay in one room in the contagious ward behind the hospital, and from
the first day Geschwitz put forth all her art to make our two faces
as like each other as possible. Day before yesterday she was let out
as cured. Just now she came back and said she'd forgotten her watch.

I put on her clothes, she slipped into my prison frock, and then I
came away. (_With pleasure._) Now she's lying over there as the
murderess of Dr. Schoen.

ALVA. So far as outward appearance goes you can still agree with the
picture as much as ever.

LULU. I'm a little peaked in the face, but otherwise I've lost
nothing. Only one gets incredibly nervous in prison.

ALVA. You looked horribly sick when you came in.

LULU. I had to, to get our necks out of the noose.--And you? What
have you done in this year and a half?

ALVA. I've had a succes d'estime in literary circles with a play I
wrote about you.

LULU. Who's your sweetheart now?

ALVA. An actress I've rented a house for in Karl Street.

LULU. Does she love you?

ALVA. How should I know that? I haven't seen the woman for six weeks.

LULU. Can you stand that?

ALVA. You will never understand that. With me there's the closest
alternation between my sensuality and mental creativeness. So towards
you, for example, I have only the choice of regarding you
artistically or of loving you.

LULU. (_In a fairy-story tone._) I used to dream every other night
that I'd fallen into the hands of a sadic.... Come, give me a kiss!

ALVA. It's shining in your eyes like the water in a deep well one has
just thrown a stone into.

LULU. Come!

ALVA. (_Kisses her._) Your lips have got pretty thin, anyway.

LULU. Come! (_Pushes him into a chair and seats herself on his
knee._) Do you shudder at me?--In Hotel Ox-butter we all got a
luke-warm bath every four weeks. The wardresses took that opportunity
to search our pockets as soon as we were in the water. (_She kisses
him passionately._)

ALVA. Oh, oh!

LULU. You're afraid that when I'm away you couldn't write any more
poems about me?

ALVA. On the contrary, I shall write a dithyramb upon thy glory.

LULU. I'm only sore about the hideous shoes I'm wearing.

ALVA. They do not encroach upon your charms. Let us be thankful for
the favor of this moment.

LULU. I don't feel at all like that to-day.--Do you remember the
costume ball where I was dressed like a knight's squire? How those
wine-full women ran after me that time? Geschwitz crawled round,
round my feet, and begged me to step on her face with my cloth shoes.

ALVA. Come, dear heart!

LULU. (_In the tone with which one quiets a restless child._)
Quietly! I shot your father.

ALVA. I do not love thee less for that. One kiss!

LULU. Bend your head back. (_She kisses him with deliberation._)

ALVA. You hold back the fire of my soul with the most dexterous art.

And your breast breathes so virginly too. Yet if it weren't for your
two great, dark, childish eyes, I must needs have thought you the
cunningest whore that ever hurled a man to destruction.

LULU. (_In high spirits._) Would God I were! Come over the border
with us to-day! Then we can see each other as often as we will, and
we'll get more pleasure from each other than now.

ALVA. Through this dress I feel your body like a symphony. These
slender ankles, this cantabile. This rapturous crescendo. And these
knees, this capriccio. And the powerful andante of lust!--How
peacefully these two slim rivals press against each other in the
consciousness that neither equals the other in beauty--till their
capricious mistress wakes up and the rival lovers separate like the
two hostile poles. I shall sing your praises so that your senses
shall whirl!

LULU. (_Merrily._) Meanwhile I'll bury my hands in your hair. (_She
does so._) But here we'll be disturbed.

ALVA. You have robbed me of my reason!

LULU. Aren't you coming with me to-day?

ALVA. But the old fellow's going with you!

LULU. He won't turn up again.--Is not that the divan on which your
father bled to death?

ALVA. Be still. Be still....

CURTAIN.