LIEUTENANT ALGY; JOINS THE ARMY

IN at the gate down by post number one--in other words, at the guardrnhouse--turned an extremely large and costly-looking seven-passengerrntouring car.rnrnAt the driver's post sat an undersized, shrewd-looking little Frenchman.rnrnBehind him, in one of the five seats of the tonneau sat a dapper-lookingrnyoung man of medium height, with a soft, curly little moustache andrndressed in the height of masculine fashion.rnrnAt post number one the car was halted, apparently much to the surprisernof the solitary passenger, who leaned indolently forward and exchangedrnsome words with the sentry.rnrn"Gracious!" gasped Noll. "He must be a person of some importance, afterrnall. There's the sentry presenting arms."rnrn"And there comes the corporal of the guard, making a rifle salute,"rnadded Hal. "It must be a new officer joining the regiment."rnrn"That--an officer?" gasped Noll, in unfeigned disgust. "Don't libel therngood old Army, Hal."rnrnOf a sudden the big car shot forward again, and came up the main road tornofficers' row at a smashing clip.rnrnThen, just as suddenly, it halted beside the two young corporals.rnrn"Hello, boys!" greeted the dapper, smiling little fellow in the tonneau."Say, I'm afraid I'm all at sea. I've come to live with you fellows, butrnI'm blessed if I haven't already forgotten what that fellow with the gunrntold me down at the porter's lodge."rnrn"Porter's lodge? Do you mean the guard house, sir?" Hal askedrnrespectfully.rnrn"Why, yes--if that's what you call it--of course. Names don't matterrnmuch to me. Never did. Some one over in Washington--the secretary ofrnsomething or other--sent me over here. I'm a new lieutenant, and Irnbelieve I'm to stay at this beastly place."rnrnAt the mention of the word "lieutenant" both Hal and Noll came to a veryrnformal salute.rnrn"Now, what do you mean by that?" smiled the new-comer affably. "Sign ofrnsome lodge on the post? I haven't had time to get into any of yourrnsecret societies yet, of course."rnrn"We offered you the officer's salute, sir," explained Corporal Hal.rnrn"Oh, then you're officers? I guessed as much," beamed the pleasant youngrnstranger.rnrn"No; we're corporals, sir," Hal informed him.rnrn"Oh, yes; seems to me I've heard about corporals. I'll know more aboutrnthem later, I dare say. How are you, anyway, boys?"rnrnThe stranger leaned out over the side of the car, extending his hand tornCorporal Overton, who could not very well refuse it. Then Noll came inrnfor a handshake.rnrn"Of course you understand sir, that we're below the grade of officers,"rnHal continued.rnrn"Oh, pshaw!" replied the still smiling stranger. "Such things as thatrndon't count. And I've been warned that the Army is one of the mostrndemocratic places in the world. I haven't brought any of my 'lugs' herernwith me--'pon my word I haven't. I'm Lieutenant Algernon Ferrers. I hopernall of you fellows will soon like me well enough to call me Algy."rnrnThough Mr. Ferrers was certainly the biggest joke in the way of anrnofficer that either of the young soldiers had ever seen, it wasrnimpossible not to like this pleasant young man.rnrn"Jump in--won't you, boys?" invited Lieutenant Ferrers, throwing thernnearer door of the tonneau open. "I'll be tremendously obliged if you'llrnpilot me to the right place. Where do I ring the bell? Of course I'verngot to give some one here the glad hand before I can be shown to myrnrooms."rnrnThough they did so with some misgivings Hal and Noll both stepped intornthe tonneau.rnrn"Sit right down, boys," urged Lieutenant Ferrers amiably.rnrn"Pardon me, sir," explained Hal Overton. "It would be a bad breach ofrndiscipline in this regiment for any enlisted man to sit in the companyrnof his officers."rnrn"Oh, you're enlisted men, eh?" queried the new lieutenant, showing nornsigns whatever of feeling taken aback. "I'm glad to say I didn't have tornenlist. My guv'nor has some good friends at Washington, and I wasrnappointed from civil life."rnrnHal and Noll had already guessed that much without difficulty. Nornofficer quite like Lieutenant Ferrers had ever been turned out at WestrnPoint, and surely such a man had never risen from the ranks. Now, whenrnall the West Point graduates have been commissioned into the Army, andrnall meritorious enlisted men have been promoted to second lieutenancies,rnthen, if there be any vacancies left, the President fills thesernvacancies in the rank of second lieutenant, by appointing young men fromrncivil life.rnrnGenerally these appointments from civil life go to the honor graduatesrnof colleges where military drill is conducted by an officer of the Armyrndetailed as instructor. But, occasionally, there are more vacanciesrnthan these honor graduates can or will fill--and then politicalrninfluence very often plays a part in the appointment of some young menrnas lieutenants in the Army.rnrn"Tell François where to drive, will you?" begged Lieutenant Ferrers.rnrn"I don't believe, sir, that Colonel North is at his office so late inrnthe forenoon," Corporal Hal replied. "But I think, sir, that CaptainrnHale, the regimental adjutant, will be found there."rnrn"Does Hale assign a fellow's rooms to him?" queried Lieutenant Ferrersrninnocently.rnrn"If you are under orders to join, sir, you will be expected to report tornColonel North, or else to the regimental adjutant, who represents therncolonel."rnrn"I--see," nodded the new lieutenant slowly. "Will you do me the extremernfavor to tell François where to leave us?"rnrnHal leaned forward, indicating the headquarters building.rnrnIn another moment the big car stopped before headquarters.rnrn"Come right on in, fellows, and introduce me, won't you?" urgedrnLieutenant Ferrers.rnrn"I--I am afraid we'd better not," replied Hal, flushing.rnrn"Oh, I see--you've a luncheon appointment, or something of the sort, eh?rnWell, never mind; glad to have met you. Expect to have many a good timernwith you later on. Good fellows, both of you, I'll wager."rnrn"Come away from here, Noll," begged Hal, as soon as Mr. Ferrers had runrnup the steps and into the building. "I'm suffocating."rnrn"I'm green," grinned Noll chokingly, "but I'd hate to have as much aheadrnof me to learn as that new officer has."rnrn"Oh, perhaps he was joshing us," suggested Hal.rnrn"Do you know what I think?"rnrn"What?"rnrn"I think," responded Noll, struggling hard to keep his gravity, "thatrnMr. Ferrers is kidding himself worse than any one else."rnrnIn the meantime Ferrers had bounded past an orderly and had broken intornthe office of the regimental adjutant.rnrn"Hello, old chap!" was his joyous greeting of dignified Captain Hale.rnrn"Sir?" demanded the regimental adjutant. "Who the blazes are you, sir?"rnrn"Name's Ferrers, old chap," responded the newcomer, lightly, dropping arncard down on the adjutant's desk.rnrnCaptain Hale glanced at the card. Then a light seemed to dawn on him.rnrn"Oh! I think it likely you are the Lieutenant Ferrers who has beenrnordered to the Thirty-fourth," went on Captain Hale.rnrn"You're a wonderful guesser, old chap. Now, where do I go to see aboutrnmy rooms, housing my servants, storing my cars, etc.?"rnrnCaptain Hale tried to hide his grim smile as he held out his hand.rnrn"Welcome to the Thirty-fourth, Mr. Ferrers. And now I think I had betterrntake you to Colonel North. He has been expecting you."rnrnLieutenant Algernon Ferrers followed the broad-backed adjutant into anrninner office, where the very young man was presented to therngrizzled-gray Colonel North. Then, as quickly as he could, Captain Halernescaped back to his desk in the outer office.rnrnColonel North looked at Mr. Ferrers with a glance that did not conveyrnabsolute approval.rnrn"Have you been in a train wreck, Mr. Ferrers?" inquired the colonel.rnrn"Oh, dear me, no. Do I look as bad as that?" inquired the newrnlieutenant, with a downward glance at his faultless attire.rnrn"But you were due to arrive here at four o'clock yesterday afternoon,rnMr. Ferrers," continued the colonel. "I was here at my desk, waiting tornreceive you."rnrn"I hope I didn't inconvenience you any," murmured Ferrers. "You see,rnColonel, when I got in at Pueblo I ran across some old friends at thernstation. They insisted on my staying over with them for half a day. Irncouldn't very well get out of it, you see."rnrn"Couldn't very well get out of it?" repeated Colonel North distinctlyrnand coldly. "Wouldn't it have been enough, Mr. Ferrers, to have toldrnyour friends that you were under orders to be here at four o'clockrnyesterday?"rnrn"Oh, I say, now," murmured Mr. Ferrers, "I hope you're not going tornraise any beastly row about it."rnrn"That is not language to use to your superior officer, Mr. Ferrers!"rnrn"Then you have my instant apology, Colonel," protested the young man."But, you see, these were very important people that I met--thernPorter-Stanleys, of New York. Very likely you have met them."rnrnColonel North now found it hard to repress a tendency to laugh. But hernchoked it back.rnrn"I am afraid, Mr. Ferrers, you do not realize the seriousness of failingrnto obey a military order punctually. More than that, I fear it wouldrntake more time than I have between now and luncheon to make it plain tornyou. But I assure you that you have a great deal, a very great deal, tornlearn about the strict requirements of Army life and conduct."rnrn"And you'll find me very keen to learn, sir, very keen, I assure you.rnBut, since you're good enough to postpone telling me more about suchrnlittle matters, may I ask you, Colonel, who will show me to my rooms? Irnshall need quite a few, for, outside of two chauffeurs--I have five autorncars you know--I have also four household servants and a valet."rnrn"You have--what!" gasped Colonel North.rnrnMr. Ferrers patiently repeated the details concerning the number of hisrnautomobiles and servants.rnrn"And where are they?" demanded the regimental commander.rnrn"I left them over in Clowdry until I send for them, sir."rnrn"Mr. Ferrers, have you any idea how many rooms an unmarried secondrnlieutenant has?"rnrn"A dozen or fifteen, I hope," suggested Mr. Ferrers hopefully. "Arngentleman, of course, can't live in fewer rooms."rnrn"Mr. Ferrers, an unmarried second lieutenant lives in bachelor officers'rnquarters. He has a parlor, bed-room and bath."rnrn"Oh, I say now," protested poor Mr. Ferrers earnestly, "you can't expectrnme to get along in any such dog-kennel of a place."rnrn"You'll have to, Mr. Ferrers."rnrn"But my servants--my chauffeurs?"rnrn"No room for them on this post."rnrn"But I can't keep five cars running without at least two chauffeurs. Andrnby the way, Colonel, what kind of a garage do you have here?"rnrn"None whatever, Mr. Ferrers. You can keep one small car down at thernquartermaster's stables, but that is the best you can do."rnrnLieutenant Algernon Ferrers, who instantly realized that thisrnfine-looking old colonel was not making game of him, sat back staring, arnpicture of hopeless dejection.rnrn"I had no idea the Army was anything like as beastly as this," hernmurmured disconsolately.rnrn"If you're going to remain in the service, Mr. Ferrers," returned therncolonel, "I'm afraid you will have to recast many of your ideas. In thernfirst place, you won't need servants. You'll get your meals at thernofficers' mess, and all the servants needed there are provided."rnrn"But I must have some one to take care of even my two poor littlernrooms," fidgeted Mr. Ferrers. "I can't undertake to do that myself.rnBesides, Colonel, I don't know how to do housework."rnrn"Some of the work in your rooms you should and must do yourself,"rnexplained Colonel North. "Such, for example, as tidying up yourrnquarters. The rougher work you can have done by a striker."rnrn"Striker!" echoed Mr. Ferrers, a gleam of intelligence coming into hisrneyes. "No, thank you, Colonel. Strikers never work. I've heard myrnguv'nor talk about strikes in his business."rnrn"'Striker,'" explained Colonel North, "is Army slang. Your 'striker' isrna private soldier, whom you hire at so many a dollars a month to do thernrougher work in your quarters. You make whatever bargain you choose withrnthe soldier. At this post the bachelor officers usually pay a strikerrneight dollars a month."rnrn"At that price I can afford a lot of 'em," responded Mr. Ferrers,rnbrightening considerably.rnrn"An unmarried officer is not allowed to have more than one striker inrnthis regiment," said the colonel, whereat Ferrer's face showed hisrndismay. "Nor is any soldier obliged to become your striker. You cannotrnengage him unless the soldier is wholly willing. However, a good manyrnmen like the extra pay. You will be assigned to A company. Direct thernfirst sergeant of that company to send you a man who is willing to servernas a striker. And now, Mr. Ferrers, as you appear to be wholly ignorantrnof Army life I think I will give you a mentor."rnrnTurning to the telephone Colonel North called:rnrn"Connect me with Lieutenant Prescott. Hello, is that you, Mr. Prescott?rnThe regimental commander is speaking. My compliments, Mr. Prescott, andrncan you come over to headquarters? Thank you."rnrnRinging off the colonel turned to his very new young lieutenant, saying:rnrn"Mr. Prescott is a last year's graduate of the Military Academy at WestrnPoint, and one of the most capable younger officers I have ever met. Irncan think of no man so well qualified to coach you in the start of yourrnnew life, Mr. Ferrers. You have some baggage with you?"rnrn"Oh, yes, sir. Two trunks on the car."rnrn"Then you have uniforms with you?"rnrn"Yes."rnrn"Say 'sir' when answering a superior officer."rnrn"Yes, sir."rnrn"You have your two regulation swords?"rnrn"Yes, sir. And say!" Ferrers beamed forth, with enthusiasm, while hisrneyes lit up. "The regulation swords are not such a much, so, while I gotrnthem, I also had four other swords made that are a whole lot handsomer.rnWait until you see me, sir, with the beauty that Tiffany made to myrnorder--my own design, sir."rnrn"Doubtless your extra swords will do very well as ornaments in yourrnquarters, Mr. Ferrers," replied the colonel, trying very hard to keep arnstraight face. "But you will not appear with any other than thernregulation swords."rnrn"Oh, I say, now----" broke forth Ferrers anxiously, but the door opened,rnand Lieutenant Dick Prescott strode in, looking the perfection ofrnhandsome soldiery.rnrn"You sent for me, sir?" Prescott asked, coming to a very formal salute.rnrn"Yes, Mr. Prescott. This young gentleman is Lieutenant Algernon Ferrers,rnlately appointed from civil life. As Mr. Ferrers will presently be gladrnto admit that he knows less than nothing about Army life, I can think ofrnno one better qualified than you, Mr. Prescott, to explain to him thernnature of military life."rnrn"Thank you, Colonel," replied Prescott gravely.rnrn"Kindly take Mr. Ferrers over to the officers' mess and see that he isrnmade to feel at home among you youngsters. And advise him, in allrnnecessary respects, as to what is expected of him in this regiment."rnrn"But my rooms, sir? My little dog-kennel?" urged Ferrers.rnrn"Mr. Prescott will take you to Lieutenant Pope, the battalionrnquartermaster, who will assign you to quarters. And, Mr. Prescott, makernit a point to introduce Mr. Ferrers to Major Silsbee and also CaptainrnRuggles of A company, for Mr. Ferrers is assigned to that company."rnrnPrescott saluted smartly in leaving his colonel. Ferrers alsornendeavored to salute, and imitated badly--with the wrong hand.rnrnAs soon as the door had closed Colonel North rose, sighed and muttered:rnrn"With a seeming idiot like that on officers' row I can see our old andrnhappy life here passing."rnrnLieutenant Ferrers, after an infinite amount of coaching by Mr.rnPrescott, turned out at afternoon parade. Ferrers did not take his postrnwith his company, but stood at one side, out of the way, watching thernwork with a rather bored look.rnrnBy the time that the men were dismissed from parade every enlisted manrnin barracks appeared to have heard a lot about Lieutenant Ferrers. Everyrnman was either telling or listening to some anecdote about the new youngrnofficer, and roars of laughter rang on all sides, for Algy Ferrers,rnduring the brief afternoon, had managed, in spite of Prescott, to make arnwhole lot of ridiculous breaks.rnrn"That young shave-tail won't last two weeks in the service," predictedrnCorporal Hyman, who, though he now belonged in another squad room, wasrnjust now visiting with Sergeant Hupner's men.rnrn"Oh, I don't know," Noll answered thoughtfully. "I've seen a lot ofrnworse enlisted men licked into shape and become good soldiers. I don'trnknow why the rule shouldn't work as well with a new officer."rnrnCorporal Hal, at this moment, was down at the further end of the squadrnroom, close to an open window. Here, where he had plenty of space forrnmanoeuvring, he was practising some moves with the signal flag, whilernSergeant Hupner stood by criticising.rnrn"Of all the dizzy young rookies with the waving shirt I consider you thernworst," jeered Corporal Hyman, stepping over. "Here, I'm going to takernthat thing away from you. What you need, Overton, is rest."rnrnHyman made a dive for the signal flag. Corporal Hal resisted the effortrnto take it away from him, and a good-natured scuffle followed. While itrnwas going on Hal was forced into the open window.rnrnHyman seized the staff, giving it a twist. Then Hal started to recoverrnit.rnrnThus the staff dropped and fell below, just as young Corporal Overtonrnsprang inward.rnrnInstantly, however, the boy remembered that it might drop on some one'srnhead. He wheeled like a flash, bending out of the window, just as a howlrnfloated upward.rnrn"Hey, you idiot!" followed the howl, and the young corporal saw Hinkey,rna new recruit in the regiment and company, take off his hat and rub arnrising lump on the top of his head.rnrn"Look out below, there!" called Corporal Hal.rnrn"What else are you going to throw out at me?" glared Private Hinkey.rnrnFor answer, Corporal Hal sprang over the window sill, landing lightly onrnthe ground below.rnrn"Hinkey, I'm mighty sorry," began Overton. "It was an accident, and----"rnrn"An accident?" flared Hinkey sulkily. "I suppose you expect me tornbelieve that you slammed that flagstaff down and hit me on the top ofrnthe head, and that it was all an accident?"rnrn"I certainly do expect you to believe it," replied Corporal Hal, hisrnface flushing.rnrn"Well, I don't," came the ugly response, accompanied by another scowl."It's a lie, and----"rnrn"Be careful, Hinkey!" warned Corporal Overton, his fine young facernpaling slightly. "Passing the lie, you know, don't go in the Army!"rnrn"I don't care a hang what goes in the Army," snarled the private, whornwas a man some twenty-eight years of age, dark of complexion andrnforbidding of feature. "You've had it in for me all along, CorporalrnOverton. Only yesterday morning you scorched me at drill."rnrn"You needed it," was the quiet reply. "And I used no abusive language."rnrn"Good thing you didn't," flashed Hinkey. "And the day before----"rnrn"Stop your whining and let me look at your head," advised CorporalrnOverton. "Whew, what a bump! Hinkey, I'm truly sor----"rnrn"Get away from me, and never mind my head," snapped the other.rnrn"But man, the flesh is cut, and the bump is already the size of a hen'srnegg, and growing. You must have that attended to at hospital."rnrn"I'll do what I please about that," retorted Hinkey.rnrn"No; you'll do as you're told. You will report to First Sergeant Gray atrnonce, and ask his permission to report at hospital without delay."rnrn"Perhaps you think I will," came the disagreeable retort.rnrn"I know you will," said Corporal Overton more sternly, "for it's arnmilitary order and you have no choice but to obey. And, if you think Irndid that purposely----"rnrn"I don't think, Overton. I know you did."rnrn"Then I'll post you as to your rights in the matter, Private Hinkey.rnWhen you report to Sergeant Gray for hospital permission, which yournwill do at once, you can also state that you believe I assaulted yournpurposely. Then Sergeant Gray will arrange for you to go to CaptainrnCortland and make regular complaint against me."rnrn"You think I'm a fool, don't you?" jeered Hinkey.rnrn"On that point I decline to commit myself."rnrn"Fine to go and complain against an officers' pet and boot-lick,"rnlaughed Hinkey sullenly. "No, sir! I'll go to no officer with a chargernagainst a favored boot-lick!"rnrn"That's the only way in which you can get redress."rnrn"Is it?" demanded Private Hinkey, with a sudden, intense scowl that madernhis ill-featured face look satanic. "Well, you wait and see, my finernyoung buck doughboy!"rnrn"Don't fail to report to Sergeant Gray for hospital permission,"rnCorporal Hal Overton called after the fellow. "If you do, you'll be uprnagainst disobedience of orders."rnrnPrivate Hinkey, moving away, made a derisive gesture behind his back,rnbut the boyish young corporal turned on his heel, stepping off inrnanother direction.rnrn"If that kid thinks he can lord it over me," snarled Private Hinkeyrnunder his breath, "he's due to wake up before long."rnrnNevertheless Private Hinkey had already learned enough of Army life tornfeel certain that he was obliged to go to Sergeant Gray.rnrn"Sure thing! Go over to hospital and have that head dressed at once,"rnordered the first sergeant. "How did it happen?"rnrn"The fellow who did it said it was an accident," replied Hinkey, with anrnugly leer.rnrn"Then report him," urged the first sergeant of B Company. "I can takerncare of the offender if it was done on purpose."rnrn"That's all right," snapped Private Hinkey. "So can I."rnrn"If Hinkey is telling the truth, then there's the start of a nice littlernrow in that sore head," thought Gray, glancing after the man headed forrnhospital.rnrnAnd, indeed, Sergeant Gray was wholly right.