Chapter 1

***

Here I was broke in upon by Mr. Lovelace; introducing the widow leading
in a kinswoman of her's to attend me, if I approved of her, till my
Hannah should come, or till I had provided myself with some other
servant. The widow gave her many good qualities; but said, that she had
one great defect; which was, that she could not write, nor read writing;
that part of her education having been neglected when she was young; but
for discretion, fidelity, obligingness, she was not to be out-done by any
body. So commented her likewise for her skill at the needle.

As for her defect, I can easily forgive that. She is very likely and
genteel--too genteel indeed, I think, for a servant. But what I like
least of all in her, she has a strange sly eye. I never saw such an eye;
half-confident, I think. But indeed Mrs. Sinclair herself, (for that is
the widow's name,) has an odd winking eye; and her respectfulness seems
too much studied, methinks, for the London ease and freedom. But people
can't help their looks, you know; and after all she is extremely civil
and obliging,--and as for the young woman, (Dorcas is her name,) she will
not be long with me.

I accepted her: How could I do otherwise, (if I had had a mind to make
objections, which, in my present situation, I had not,) her aunt present,
and the young woman also present; and Mr. Lovelace officious in his
introducing them, to oblige me? But, upon their leaving me, I told him,
(who seemed inclinable to begin a conversation with me,) that I desired
that this apartment might be considered as my retirement: that when I saw
him it might be in the dining-room, (which is up a few stairs; for this
back-house, being once two, the rooms do not all of them very
conveniently communicate with each other,) and that I might be as little
broken in upon as possible, when I am here. He withdrew very
respectfully to the door, but there stopt; and asked for my company then
in the dining-room. If he were about setting out for other lodgings, I
would go with him now, I told him; but, if he did not just then go, I
would first finish my letter to Miss Howe.

I see he has no mind to leave me if he can help it. My brother's scheme
may give him a pretence to try to engage me to dispense with his promise.
But if I now do I must acquit him of it entirely.

My approbation of his tender behaviour in the midst of my grief, has
given him a right, as he seems to think, of addressing me with all the
freedom of an approved lover. I see by this man, that when once a woman
embarks with this sex, there is no receding. One concession is but the
prelude to another with them. He has been ever since Sunday last
continually complaining of the distance I keep him at; and thinks himself
entitled now to call in question my value for him; strengthening his
doubts by my former declared readiness to give him up to a reconciliation
with my friends; and yet has himself fallen off from that obsequious
tenderness, if I may couple the words, which drew from me the concessions
he builds upon.

While we were talking at the door, my new servant came up with an
invitation to us both to tea. I said he might accept of it, if he
pleased: but I must pursue my writing; and not choosing either tea or
supper, I desired him to make my excuses below, as to both; and inform
them of my choice to be retired as much as possible; yet to promise for
me my attendance on the widow and her nieces at breakfast in the morning.

He objected particularly in the eye of strangers as to avoiding supper.

You know, said I, and you can tell them, that I seldom eat suppers. My
spirits are low. You must never urge me against a declared choice.
Pray, Mr. Lovelace, inform them of all my particularities. If they are
obliging, they will allow for them--I come not hither to make new
acquaintance.

I have turned over the books I found in my closet; and am not a little
pleased with them; and think the better of the people of the house for
their sakes.

Stanhope's Gospels; Sharp's, Tillotson's, and South's Sermons; Nelson's
Feasts and Fasts; a Sacramental Piece of the Bishop of Man, and another
of Dr. Gauden, Bishop of Exeter; and Inett's Devotions, are among the
devout books:--and among those of a lighter turn, the following not ill-
chosen ones: A Telemachus, in French; another in English; Steel's,
Rowe's, and Shakespeare's Plays; that genteel Comedy of Mr. Cibber, The
Careless Husband, and others of the same author; Dryden's Miscellanies;
the Tatlers, Spectators, and Guardians; Pope's, and Swift's, and
Addison's Works.

In the blank leaves of the Nelson and Bishop Gauden, is Mrs. Sinclair's
name; and in those of most of the others, either Sarah Martin, or Mary
Horton, the names of the two nieces.